Amanda approached me a couple months back, asking me to be a guest blogger on
ASVH and I was thrilled. I was in the midst of my toughest semester at school but was
learning a great deal about human and civil rights. I was so flooded with ideas, I filled a
page within 5 minutes of our conversation and as much as I wanted to write about
misogyny, relationships, or cultural identity I kept coming back to the idea of our
expectations on our lives, something I have been struggling with for a while.
I’m that one girl who has been going with the flow since you’ve met her. I want to be
an actress. I want to do special effects make-up. I want to go to law school. I want to go to
medical school. I want to work with animals. I want to paint. I want to travel and be well
cultured. I want to lay on a beach drinking fancy umbrella drinks. I want to somehow make
a difference in the world. I want to be an activist. I want to be philanthropic. I want to run
away and be off the grid. I don’t want to get married and have a family. I do want to
financially and emotionally support my family. I don’t want to be tied down to one job for
the rest of my life. I do want a career I will be passionate about and flourish. I want to
remain humble, free-spirited, and mindful while being present, driven and doing what is
best for me. So how am I, the most indecisive person I’ve ever met, going to figure out what
I should be doing? I don’t have an answer now nor do I think I will have one any time soon
and that’s okay because having everything figured out is overrated.
I recently graduated after 6 long years of being in school and the most common
question I have been getting is, “What’s next?” For the longest time, I would give people
some bullsh*t career plan because that’s what I thought they wanted to hear. Well, here’s
the truth: I don’t know what’s next. My goal for the past 6 years was to just get through
every day, week, month, and semester of school without giving in to my anxiety and
depression; a plan after school was the least of my worries. So here I am 6 years later, a
Magna Cum Laude graduate of San Jose State who still has no idea what she’s doing with
her life.
But who says we have to have it all figured out as soon as we graduate?
Society, who tells us we need to jump right into the work force to start paying off student
loans and contribute to the greater good of society
University, who wants you to either further your education or jump right into the “career of
your dreams”
Family, who wants you to start working to start saving for a financially stable future
Partners/ spouses, who want you to be on the same level playing field as them
It’s okay to take all these things into consideration, but do not let them dictate your life.
We live in a very comparative society that distorts our ability to understand that putting
time constraints and extreme expectations on our own accomplishments is detrimental to
our growth and mental health. I was one of those people until I realized that I’m the only
one I can live my life for. I would look at my friends’ accomplishments and envy how far
they have gotten; now they are my motivation, inspiration, and drive to going after what I
want.
I’m not here to tell you that you shouldn’t chase after what you want, I’m here to tell
you that you do not need to have your whole life figured out right now. It’s okay not too. I
want you to be fearless, take chances, be unapologetic in the decisions you make because
that thing you were afraid to chase after might be the key to figuring out what you were
missing. Until then, live your life for you and no one else – I’ll be right by your side doing
the same.
Madisen and Amanda met in a high school Spanish class. They reconnected their friendship through ASVH. Madisen is a recent graduate with many exciting things on her to-do list! Follow her Instagram here